top of page

Lachlan Broadbent 2018

A Bus Ride Away from Civilisation

Hi world, it's Lachy again. 

Not that anything much has been happening. In fact, that's the basis for what I'm calling my series of adventures. 

I was sitting in my house, overlooking the valley, rich in emptiness. From above it looked like a blanket of green tucking the branches away from humanity. I had never really thought about what lay beyond the skyline of vegetation. What could it be hiding? So I decided to find out.

Following a day of dull desk work, I returned to see the hand of light slip away from the forest, gently pushed away by the nothingness of the dark. I am an editor for a magazine, and collect and distribute stories that to the average person may seem like fantasy. Adventures at sea, exploring the deepest darkest parts of Earth, scaling unconquerable heights, surfing the slums and living among the highest beholders of life, you name it. I will have filtered the magic onto the page. It's not an easy job, compressing all the joy and spirit into a single article.

 In case you hadn't noticed, I work from home. I sit at my desk all day and stare into the void of words and deadlines. Sometimes I can't help but fly away into the mind of an adventurer. I get tangled up in the quintessence of their escapades. Whisked out into the sky, becoming a victim of the vast horizons. I dream of someday lending myself to an experience. 

But today, I had an epiphany. I was hunched over in my chair, conjuring the image of drawing the turtles passing overhead. The bottom of the reef, wax paper in hand, when I had a sudden urge. I had never been one to fret or wish for something more than my life amounted to, but a quiver shot down my arm. I snapped my laptop shut. I grabbed some food, water, a sleeping bag and some fresh clothes and burst out the front door. I set foot along the old expedition trail, left untouched for decades. I was about to go on my first adventure

The 60th Prizeball Championship

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to the 2121 World Prizeball Champion match. I'm your host, Gary Goldman and alongside me tonight is our analyst, the wonderful Miss Carey Meyers. May I just say, Carey, that you are looking fabulous this evening.

C - Oh my, well you are looking rather dashing yourself Gary.

G - Along the benches for today's game is our sideline reporter is 7x prizeball all-star and last year's hall of fame inductee, Terry Wayne. He joins your official Chemist Warehouse referees, Frank Ward, Trey Haul and Emma Ghorde. Now, with the eyes of the world watching, only one winner can stand above the rest.

C - That's right Gary. Although this game is international, all teams are based in a city in North America because it is the home of the game, and to limit travel. And if for some reason you have spent the last 60 years under a rock, here are the rules.

G - We began this year's competition with 450 competitors, male and female, from across the globe. Games are 60 minute halves with a short break at the 30 minute mark. Coaches may call up to 2 timeouts between the 5 minute and 25 minute mark of each quarter break. In the preseason, coaches (hired by owners) assemble the best team of 25 players.

C - Teams have to sign 5 players at each position, with only 3 all-star players (voted by fans) allowed per team (to keep the league competitive). There are no distinct positions, however, among the 30 on the team, players must begin each new play in groups of 5. Players may disperse after the whistle is blown. Of these 5 positions, there are different categories of numbers the team can wear. The north division of North America wears numbers in the tens that are uneven (10, 30, 50, etc) while teams in the south division wear even numbers in the tens (20, 40, 60, etc). Each position is given a group of 10, and from that group they may choose a number (e.g. A player playing the position with the group of 20 may choose nany number from 20-29, just so long as it does not conflict with a teammates number).

G - Here's where it gets interesting: Players are sorted into teams, yes, but the game is free-for-all. Teams only get paid if they win the game, so players must balance winning with statistics to get paid. The money is divided up amongst the team based on how many goals are scored, how many assists (making a direct act that leads to an immediate goal to another player, e.g. passing, blocking out defenders), how many defensive plays (an act that leads to a turnover in favour of the player's team, e.g. steal, block, forced miss) and rebound (collecting the ball after a missed shot and/or deflection of block shot or steal). Each players gets a gamely compensation for playing, dished out by the owners, with minimum of 100 Amexican dollars (typically for new players), and a maximum of 80,000 (typically for all-stars).

C - Here's the thing - the winning team's money is inside the game ball, hence the name prizeball. The last goalscorer of the game gets a bonus 200 dollars. Now here are the is Terry for the in-game rules.

T - Thanks Carey, it's a pleasure to be here. I'm Terry Wayne, here bringing you the rules for tonight's blockbuster. Each player has a non-harmful phaser gun that shoots a light that propels the ball in the direction the moment would have taken it, had the force of the gun been solid. players have these phasers strapped to the hip on the player''s preferred side. Often used to prevent the other team from picking up the ball, it is a violation to score a goal with the guns. A maximum charge of 3 seconds allows players a brief opportunity to determine the force the put into the ball.

Next, the regulations. The goals are an exact size of 5m x 7.5m and are flat, a hologram from the ceiling of each arena. The goals change position randomly, still on the flat holographic plate, after 30 seconds of each play has passed. This allows the coaches to set many plays (depending on the position of the goal and the defense) and speeds up the pace of the game. Players and officials must wear hover shoes, visors, helmets, armour, hover gloves and uniforms approved by the WPL (World Prizeball league), with many models of feature brands Nike, Under Armor, Adidas, Converse and New Balance.

Players must not touch come into contact with each other, a violation given depending on the initiator of the contact. Players him a holographic sphere surrounding them (3 feet from their chests in all directions), projected on their visors. Players can only come within the sphere when contesting a goal or disposal attempt. Unsportsmanlike calls can be given out if at least 2 out of 3 refs agree the play was an unnecessary breach of the contact rule. Each player has a mouthpiece, allowing the coach and players to communicate in-game. Back to you, Goldman.

G - Thank you Terry for the lowdown on the rules. Now for a brief history on the game historian and prizeball fanatic, Bettie Wulfgang. 

B - Hello Gary and thank you for your time. In the 60 years of the sport that united the world, we look back both fondly and sadly upon the creation of the international sensation. After tensions rose too high for the world to handle, the U.S.A and the west went to war with the Eastern world, including the middle east, bringing end to almost half of life on Earth. World War III was won by Europe, North and South America, Australia, and New Zealand. A dark age hit the world, with few surviving the heat of the battle in China, Japan, Russia and Africa. The world needed something to turn to, something to keep joy amidst the reconstruction of the world. Basketball and soccer faded out with huge losses in numbers in Europe and the US, and a newly formed sport was embraced by all. The creator remaining anonymous let the world compete with each other as in 2061, a new worldwide league was formed. A new technology age saw a revolution in North America, leading to a hub of already incredible talent that was made better by its familiarity of the incorporation of technology into the game. The world recovered its economy, people began to rebuild their lives and the sport has never been more popular. 

 G - That's Bettie Wulfgang bringing you the history of the 60th anniversary of the WPL. And now fo- Oh, it appears the lineups are entering the field. Presented by Specsavers, here are the rosters for the biggest game of sport the world has ever seen. Oh, Carey, even saying those words puts a shiver down my spine

C- Me too Gary, it truly is a privilege to be covering the game. With 450 players, 18 teams, 18 coaches, 34 games, 34 rounds, the top 6 have battled in the playoffs, and we see the remaining contenders lined up on the field before us now. 

G - In the bright orange we have the champions of the North, based in Toronto, Canada, Team Chandler! Their coach Brendan Chandler rounding up 2x all-star and rising star award winner Mindy Parks as this offseason to pair up with veteran all-stars Don Felton and Wilson Yates in the back groups of their invincible line offense. This team went 32-2, only losing in an upset to Team Uto in the opening round, and to the team the stand before today. A very potent defensive team, they play hard. 

C - They sure do Gary. Despite their tenacity and gritty, scrappy demeanor, they play a rather conservative offense. Some criticize them for playing as they do in such an uptempo league, but you can't argue with their results. 

G - You certainly can't Carey. And their opponents, the victors of the South, the razzle-dazzle, flashy young team, heralding from Los Angeles, California, Team Foxx! 

C - Now, THIS team is the one to watch out for in the next few years. Their may be some good young talent in the WPL, but the hub of it all, you have to admit, is with Team Foxx. Fresh out of retirement, former MVP and scoring champion Manny Foxx had his eyes set on coaching. He said his focus coming in was to accumulate the greatest bundle of young talent the history of sport has ever seen. Nobody can say now that he wrong. Originally viewed as a bunch of rag-tag misfits, Foxx has turned the trio of boys, Jackson Boyle, Hayden Walters and Angelo Kier into a powerhouse frontline that the league could not stop. Starting slowly, as one might expect, the team started the season with four straight losses before a win. Then, in a shocking move, just as they were making their name, Foxx put Boyle, Walters and Kier in the same group. They won ten straight games before falling to none other than Team Chandler. A wakeup call for a seemingly unbeatable team, the orange belted them, holding them just 14 points vs Chandler's 39. Parks recorded a league high 20 blocks and 16 steals, and at one point a remark from Mindy sparked an altercation between the teams.

G - Quite prone to a fiery situation, Team Foxx can let good defense get to their head. But they seemed to get into their opponents more. In the 16 games since, they hadn't lost. Their firepower and finesse is something seen never before. 20-5, Foxx met with Chandler once more, the tight-knit game sent to overtime. With tensions high, Walters pulled off a buzzerbeater to put the heads of the orange army in their hands. Pulling together an undeniably overachieving season, Team Foxx finished with a record of 29-5, with Jackson Boyle claiming his first WPL scoring title at 19.2 ppg (points per game). 

C - The crowd is electric, even with the teams playing at a neutral venue in Washington D.C., usually inhabited by Team Gilland. 

G - The referees line the players up. The hologram is projected. The player's visors and phasers have been activated. The lights narrow in on centre field as the fans go crazy. Celebrities from all around are here, as well as the billions watching right now. We are all witnesses to what may be the greatest sporting event in history. 

Here

We

Go

Woes of Slow Strung Heart

A big Sandra Tulson welcome to my diary! 

To my future adoring fans and one-day faithful listeners, I love you. Here is the diary of a 19 year old girl with nothing but a mic, a dream, and six strings. 

First of all, let me tell you about myself. My favourite musicians are Avicii, OneRebublic and Bastille. My favourite TV show is Stranger Things, I have a cat called Helium and I live with my dad in an apartment in Northcote. I have recorded a few songs in my bedroom, nothing much. After my boyfriend broke up with me, I wrote take me to the clouds. Then when I had finished listen to Taylor Swift's album 1989 for the first time, I wrote raw dusk.

But today was the day that I feel will kick of my career. 

Each line is a flurry of passion and soul, with an underlining fiery romantic kick. A tale of love and lust between a sailor boy who comes across an island and his crew hop ashore. He While collecting wood for the fire, he comes across a beautiful native island girl. Each day for 7 days he goes to collect wood and meets the island girl. 

I'm calling it woes of a slow-strung heart.

It's a bit of a mix of Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straights and Christine Anu's my island home, where storytelling meets a musical escape.

I thought of the story while walking past a antique shop when out with friends. A little china hula dancing figurine sat on the shelf, looking at me. Her face changed whenever the light passed over, although my friends told me that I was crazy and to continue walking. I felt a connection, then my peers tore my away from it. And the Islander girl story was born. 

I'm pretty busy this weekend, so I might do the recording sometime next week, so stay tuned. 

As always, I'm Sandra Tulson, future superstar and songwriting extraordinaire saying goodnight. 

bottom of page