Bridget Webb 2013

Moving Closer

The dark of the night is still too much for me to handle, I can’t even handle the lights turning dim. Ever since that night, now because of dreams so covered in black that they could be considered worse than nightmares, I haven’t been sleeping. My eyes are wide awake as my stare pierces the entrance to my room and any other possible ways in. I’m afraid I won’t sleep again, that my eyes will stay open forever. My mind is getting tired and my body is getting weak but my eyes stay cold from the air.
Hours past and my whole body has shut down, the only thing I can’t seem to stop using is my eyes. My vision goes blurry but won’t be helped. What if someone comes in? What if I can’t stop them? These thoughts race through my mind. I hold my telephone close to my chest as it is the most important thing to me at this moment. I think I hear a noise. I think someone is in the house. I’m just over reacting. I try to tell myself this but my mind doesn’t seem to want to process it, I only realise as I start to get my sense back.
More hours have past and my eyes won’t budge. Somewhere in my head I know I’m over thinking all this but at the same time my mind can’t help but wonder if those people will come back for me, the ones who did this to me. They seem to have ruined me. Pretty soon I won’t be able to think of anything else. I will be stuck at home, never leave. I hear a noise again but this time I am not imagining.
The sound gets louder as I hear their footsteps coming towards my bedroom door. They came back for me and I bet they want me dead. I don’t want to die. I want to live. Although what is the point of a life if you don’t live it well. You need to find the value of it. It’s not a survival game. I haven’t found the value.  I haven’t even left my house in a few days, my friends probably forgot about me already. Without friends and without a life I guess what happens doesn’t really matter anymore.
The footsteps stop at my door. My heart pounds in my chest and the phone in my hands starts to slip as my hands get more and more sweaty. I realised now that I was wrong. I don’t want to die, even if my life has turned into what it is. I can start over, make new friends if have to. The point is I need to escape. I need to live.
I jump out of my bed as I hear the doorknob being turned and the door creaks open. I run and hide in my closet and look around. What can I use to get free?
I search and search, I search so hard I start to sweat. The footsteps are getting closer to me and I have no plan. What do I do? They get to the door and I can see the handle slowly turning. I panic. My breath becomes harder and I feel as if I’m suffocating. It feels so crowded even though I’m the only one in the closet. It’s just me and the person on the other side, making their way in. The gap in the doorway is getting larger. I look down and see a foot.
I’m not dreaming anymore, I even hurt myself to prove it. The foot I see is covered by a boot. The door opens wider and I start to see more of the figure. Its masculine, I now know this person is male. The door opens further again and now all I can think about is who this man is. The suspicion is growing inside and the suspense is killing me. I want to know. My heat tightens as I think of what he could look like or who he could be. The door is open all the way now, I know who he is. He is someone I hold dearly. He is my brother.
My mind goes blank and when I can see again I start to laugh. I fall to my knees and in relief, I cry. This was all in my head and I’m so glad I’m safe. These thoughts race to my mind as I continue to sob. I thought it was really over. I reached up to hug my brother, I even got ready to tell him all of what happened. My smile quickly faded as a sharp object pierced my heart. I’m chocking on the blood that flows through my throat.
I’m dying, my brother has stabbed me. I fall to the floor again. As I hold my hand to my wound I look up to see my brother’s cold hard stare. It seems as if he is glaring at me, no I know he is. Why did this happen? I was too confused to speak, although I couldn’t as my mouth was now full. I managed to spit out a word.
“Why?” I asked in grief.
This was followed by a pool a blood.
He smirked at me then bent down to my level.
“Why?” he said sarcastically.  “If that’s your question then you are obviously way too dense. You should’ve already figured that out already. I was behind this the whole time. Who’s the stupid one now big sis?”
He had walked back and forth as he spoke, he leaned real close as he finished his speech.
So he was the one behind all of those attacks, he was trying to kill me. What did I do? My vision turned blurry again except now my eyes were closing. My eyes finally closed and I saw black. I always wondered what my last thought would be when the time came to die. Who would’ve thought it would be:
‘At last I can sleep!’
Now I really could.