Alex Dawe 2017

The Little Things

To the peaceful beaches and the stormy clouds

To the complete serenity of a bird’s call

To the abandoned towns and watching the crowds 

To the poetic messages on the back of the door

Its these little things that make me happy

To the clear starry nights and moon up bright

To the mornings of calm and peace

To the early morning sunrise and sunset light

To the feeling of new soft fleece

These little things make me happy

but you make me the happiest.

Ocean

Feeling the soft granules of sand under your back as you lay a rest next to the serenity of the waves falling

You are calm and at peace with the tide and your surroundings

When you are here everything just seems to fall into place as gentility as the waves fold unto one another

You feel the protected under the thick layer of stars and planets that orbit around you

You can feel your happiness and relaxation rise as if synchronized with the tide

There is nothing to distract you from this overwhelming sense of tranquility

This is where your heart fills itself with positivity and your mind refuels your head with peaceful thoughts

And you finally feel at home   

Feeding Time and Oceans

I grab my phone along with my charger

Throw on some shoes and out the door.

As I walk up the sandy pathway I get blinded by the blazing white full moon

I continue walking but with my eyes locked onto the sky

As I get to the end of the pathway I find myself staring in total awe at my surroundings

I quickly flick off my shoes and continue walking a bit further

As I walk my eye are so focused on the moon lit waves

And I couldn’t do anything but drop on to my knees then slowly my butt

So many emotions, feelings and thought flood my mind with the beauty of it all

In the moment I dint know what to do with myself

I fell quite quickly on to my back as I got a little bit winded but it felt like forever as I was falling

Just starring straight into oblivion

Wondering to myself, aside from stars and planets what is out there?

I realise where this was going to go and put some music on instead

The music was doing nothing but masking the rough and peaceful sound of crashing waves

So I just laid there

9:20pm

9:30pm

9:40pm

9:50pm

I couldn’t get enough of it all

Filling my lungs with the salty fresh aromas

I sat back up to gaze at the sea and slowly found that I had stood up and was walking over to the edge of the water as if I had been taken over

I started to feel the water creep up my toes

It was warm unlike the rest of the beach which felt like ice compared

With every wave I felt a little part of me go with it like it was unraveling me piece by piece

I could’ve stood there for hours

The way the moon hung beautifully right above my head with the reflections right in front of me as if it was a pathway

I was tempted to walk straight in

I decided to put the music back on instead

This song, this very song in particular made me feel something

Don’t know if it was a good something or a bad something but it was significant in that moment

I walked a little further in having to roll up my pants so I wasn’t left with sopping wet pyjama bottoms

And that very something I was talking about earlier came crashing over me like a tidal wave

I started to shake, cry, smile

Was I losing control?

Am I going crazy?

I looked back up to the stars whilst trying to get my long messy hair out my face

I couldn’t help myself

I just had to

I threw all my belonging that I had bought with me on the sand and ran

And ran

And ran

I felt free

I noticed whilst I was running that no matter how fast you go how far you go the placing of the stars will never change

you could run for miles towards it

But end up no where

I splashed the water a bit before walking back to where I threw my things

And once I got back

I felt human

More human than ever before

I felt satisfied and complete

I felt at home

This is what happiness felt like

Or at least in that moment

Mind Garden  

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, but only a limited amount of people have the patience to glare through that window long enough to know what’s actually through the looking glass.

Some days are beautiful, sunny and warm, you wish everyone could experience the sun beams that glow from the inside out of you like you are the very source that causes the freckling on peoples glowing skin, which makes people look like a night sky painted with stars and constellations.

Other days it’s as if someone left the window cracked open enough to let rain drizzle down your face, almost as if it was left that way intentionally. You often find yourself craving for someone to sit at your window and realize the beauty some pain can cause a human but more precisely the pain that the person sitting there caused.

And the worst of days being a raging storm, a whirlwind of feelings, emotions, anger, sadness, and repressed memories bubbling up ready to erupt at any given moment, the days you wish you had someone to close the window and the blinds and stay far, far away from the window. These days you feel no human in existence should have to experience the feeling you do, although we all have.

If someone can sit at your window and appreciate your glowing beauty and shine and blossom from you

If someone can realize the genuine pain that’s inside you and can still find beauty in your soul somewhere

If someone and help protect you from yourself and from your dark gloomy mind and still love you. Then and only then do they deserve you and your mind garden.

Empty

The silence only ever encountered by the coming of death

Eyes glassy but not wet unable to weep

Emptiness fills me with unloving comfort

Motionless and stillness is all I know

Beauty it is not

Rather it is the coming of the end that finds my eye

I watch over myself and even then we can’t converse

I am a statue

An ornament

Me

green and brown swim around in unity marrying into a beautiful hazel;  these colours tell the story of her life spent in dirt and trees looking for little creatures and bugs to protect and nurture. the streaks of colour lead directly into her pupils which tell more than dirt and bugs. It tells why she spent her time in trees making friends with the ants and the ladybugs. It shows the pain, the love, the loss, and all her internal darkness and beauty. It’s a passage way into her and all her roses and thorns.

I like to think of her as an imperfect rose, she lets all her thorns grow sharp as if it’s a warning to not go anywhere near her. her thorns tell the story of pain and protection, protection from herself manly she’s seen too many other beautifully bloomed roses picked, smelt and left to rot. but she’s still a rose beautiful and delicate, soft and gentle, a place for little creatures to call home.

her eyes lead down to her worn and tired bags that only show after lifelong struggle to bloom and bloom well. It comes from constant wear and tear, they show her fight against herself as they carry her problems for her.

her nose which looks like a beautiful enchanted bridge leading to another world, one of happiness, dreams and longing. I can tell she’s walked it many times to go into that magical fantasy world of her imagination to escape as I can see her little freckles that appear like footsteps all over.

the cupids bow leads down to her lips full red lips. these lips have told a similar story but less beautiful. she speaks of her bags weighing her down, her stinging thorn eyes and her mountainous nose. She can speak of beauty in everything she sees, just not herself. but she is trying.

  • to the person I see in the mirror

To The Boy I Dreamt Of

we shared our stories

We shared our time

We shared our memories

In which they mime

 

I thought you were perfect

I told everyone

This feeling not mutual

As your feelings were numb

 

I thought id be hurt

As I thought I would care

in the moment I did

id be in despair

 

but you pulled me in

and spat me out

 I did not care 

And I did not doubt

 

You weren’t the one

that was easy to see

but sometimes

things just aren’t meant to be